September 19th: Linda's birthday is September 20th

Several people have said something like, "Linda's birthday is coming up, it's going to be tough. Are you prepared?"  I appreciate the support. I honestly hadn't thought much about it until I was asked, maybe the third time. So I thought to myself "So how am I doing and am I prepared?" I've decided that there are options for how to deal with losing a spouse/lover/best friend of fifty + years. One option is to is to keep so busy you don't think about it. I believe I tried that for a short while. It doesn't work. There are many things that snuck into my mind on a daily basis. Something as simple as driving past McDonald"s, Linda's favorite fast food treat, would cause me to feel the loss and pain of losing Linda. I worked consciously to think about and feel something else. 

But I've come to realize that if I acknowledge those feelings of loss, I can move on to thinking and feeling about how much Linda, and therefore I also, enjoyed the special treat of going to McDonald's. I don't know which she enjoyed more, McDonald's or a Dunkin Doughnut Boston Cream doughnut. She would be so excited when I surprised her by bringing a Boston Cream Doughnut back to the boat. If I don't think about it, I won't enjoy that happy memory.

My point is, I've decided I don't want to work at pushing thoughts about losing Linda out of my mind to try to ease the pain, at the cost of losing the feelings and memories also. For me, I've come to believe it is a balancing act. I have figured out that there will be many things that will remind me of our life together and I will feel the loss no matter how much I try to "Just think about something else." There are times when I do need to, "Just think about something else." But more often, instead of trying to not think about Linda, I am finding I can say, "Yes I miss her terribly, but I remember and will always feel the love and joy we shared together," as each special memory sneaks up on me. That's the balancing act as I see it. So I believe I am doing pretty well. Certainly being here with the kids is wonderful. 

People sometimes ask me, "So what are you going to do once the coronavirus settles down?" Once it's safe, I plan is to return to Banana Bay for the winter, and return to Guppy in Canada this summer. Time will tell if either of those is possible, but it makes sense to me to do pretty much what Linda and I have done in the past, and then determine where I want to go from there. 

I thought about just not including Linda's birthday in the blog. I didn't want to cause people who love her, to remind them of their grief. But my hope is the pictures I share will allow those who know Linda, to remember the so many good and happy times we shared. I believe in one way or another, those of us who love Linda are feeling the grief and loss, whether we look at old pictures or not. So let's enjoy the happy memories as a positive balance to those feelings. I said I'd like to have a Celebration of Life gathering and given the coronavirus, for now I believe this can work.

Over the years we took many pictures and Linda digitized a lot. Going thru them was addictive. The further I went the more convinced I became it was a good idea. I did the best I could to include as many friends and family as I was able to find from our photo albums. But please know Linda didn't like to have her picture taken. If I missed you, it's Linda's fault not mine, but I'm sure she is watching! The pictures are in no particular order. It took long enough for me to get this far. Remember, I did this, not my tech person Linda!

Linda and her Dad on Why Not?

Matt and Wendy's wedding

Tom, Pat, Linda, Warren, Dick, Warren Sr. and Leona 

Linda with Grandma Grosswiller and the kids

Grandma and Grandpa Franko, Wendy, Rebecca and Christopher

The Drouhard family

Franko get together at an old Inn, Loudonville, OH

Linda, Wendy, Marialice, Steve and Aunt Alice
Marialice and Aunt Alice were known for never missing a family event, no matter how far away.

Dale Limbert, (Matt's Dad)  Linda and her Mom,
Dale loved Linda's oven baked chicken, her Mom's recipe

One of the many Drouhard family gatherings - Sister-in-law Elin on the right

Linda, Steve, Wendy, Barb, Greg & Jenny Craycraft - Houseboat in Canada 1975

Kathleen Hocevar, Barry and Jennifer Hartz, Wendy, Linda  & Rebecca - Canada trip

Paul & Miriam Pendleton, Steve and Linda - Florida - 1998

Woody & Kayla Beville with Linda on Yesterday's Dream

Donna Bambic, Dave Puffer, Linda and Buck Bambic - Yesterday's Dream 2008

Linda, Niece Bethany & Terri Scott (Franko)

Grandma Grosswiller, Linda's Mom Leona, Linda and Wendy 1974

Matt, Rebecca, Wendy, Steve & Linda

Sagamore Hills card game, Rebecca competing with Irene Beville - Very competitive

Dave & Sue Puffer, Linda and Steve on a Happy Days Houseboat - Canada 2012

Grandma Drouhard with her dog Cocoa, Rebecca & Linda on Yesterday's Dream

The Drouhard "Kids" and friends in front of the Log Cabin Pat rebuilt in Loudonville town square

Niece Amanda's wedding

Steve & Linda in the Dominican Republic

Franko Family reunion - the Duck Ride - Quack, Quack

Joe & Joy Kubit, their friends, Linda and Steve, and the "Shrimp" - Florida

Linda and Steve's Wedding Party
Front row from left - Barb Craycraft, Sue Brightbill, Linda, Steve, Vicky Haydu, Rose Marino
Back Row Greg Craycraft, Dave Sarmir, Tom Guillaume, Tim Gorka 

Joe & Joy Kubit with Linda on Kubit's Sailboat

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Not McDonald's, but Linda never turned down Burger King. She rode 1/2 mile to get here.

Donna Bambic knows how to enjoy a fly bridge!

Mardi Gras Museum - New Orleans

Terri, Scott & Linda - Anna Marie Island, Florida

Linda, Steve, brother John & wife Daisy Franko & sister

Dave and Joyce Johnson Great Loop cruising friends

Back Row Left - Peter & Cheryl Webb & Mom Lois (Canada) Jim & Linda Murray (Edisto Island, SC)
Great Loop cruising friends 

Linda Limbert, (Matt's mom) and Linda - LeJeune, NC

Franko Family reunion

Nephew J.P. Niece Kaitlyn, Lobster dinner at Banana Bay, FL

Dave & Sue Puffer with Linda at Bahia Honda State Park, Florida Keys

Front row -Sue Puffer, Donna Bambic, Steve
Back Row - Dave holding Chuck, Buck Bambic, Laura Purnell, Linda

Wendy, Linda's kidney brother Tom, Linda, Rebecca, Steve & Matt
Oceanside, California

Linda with Nancy Murphy - anchored on Murphy Tug, Florida

Franko Family Reunion, Our house, Sagamore Hills, Ohio

Linda and Rebecca's dog, Trevi

J.P. & his Mom, (Niece) Christi

Linda with visiting kittens, she sure loved cats

One of many lobster dinners

Franko Family reunion - Cleveland, Ohio

Donna & Buck Bambic - Banana Bay, Marathon, FL

Craig and Karen Rahn - Canada cruising friends from San Juan Capistrano, CA

Karen Rahn & Linda on a ferry ride, California

She bought it for herself!

Linda on Deja vu with Cheryl Webb, Lois and sister

Dinner at the Puffers - Laura Purnell, Woody & Irene Beville, Bambics

Linda and brother Tom at the Perrysville Diner

Randy & Cindy Petersen with us at The Full Cup, Bobcaygeon, Trent Canal Ontario, Canada

The deer hunters, Nephew Matt, Niece Mandy, brother Warren (Linda didn't hunt!)

 Great selfie by Rebecca

Linda relaxing with London, Rebecca's dog

Banana Bay group out on Reflection to watch the sunset

The Andy (Steve's twin brother) Franko Family
Bethany, Michael, Helen, Andy & Laci

We had many fun card games with Julie (Steve's sister) & Jim
Jim always played Ann Murray for Linda

We enjoyed many fine breakfasts with Julie and Jim at Gus's
Julie and Jim housed us many times on out trips to Cleveland and accepted all our mail.

Point at Banana Bay Marina, our winter home- Unfortunately I cannot find many pictures of our wonderful friends we have come to consider family.

Linda & Wendy enjoying Arizona

Wendy, Linda & Rebecca visiting a winery

Linda & London

Steve & Linda in Maine

Thank you everyone for enriching our lives!