May 31st: Enjoying California and the kids

People keep asking me, "How are you doing?" I appreciate the support. I can't honestly say I know how I am doing, but I will pass along some thoughts in this blog.

It was great getting to Matt & Wendy's house Wednesday night. It was a long day, but I wanted to stay up a while and enjoy being with Matt & Wendy. We were all tired, so after a while we went to bed around 10:30 pm. Being on Florida time I woke up at 5:30 am (8:30 Florida time). I thought, "Surely I can sleep some more."After laying in bed till 6:00 am I decided I might as well get up.

Matt and Wendy's Encinitas house

Installing reclaimed doors
Wendy found somewhere

I started looking at old pictures of work projects on Matt & Wendy's house in 2001, and went on from there. People say "You have to remember the good times," and I agree.

Laying the tile floor

I truly enjoyed looking at the pictures and feeling the memories.





But I haven't figured out how to not resent, even more than I already do, losing Linda.





I'll share some pictures that I think will help you understand how I feel.

 Linda always made sure we had fun toys to play with when our family got together. This was a mini paint wheel.

It seemed like Linda was always cold but that never stopped her. The picture on the right is her enjoying the heater while we worked on the trawler in 30 degree temperatures.

 Linda and Becky, thanks to Becky, decided to have fun in a race car speedway. I think Linda won! (Becky might disagree).








 Linda loved dogs and they loved her. Here she is holding Misty, Matt and Wendy's off the wall dog. Maybe that's why she and Misty got along so well. She, Misty not Linda, jumped out of a second story window once and landed unharmed, and was able to climb and get over a 6 foot fence. She had very soft fur and liked to crawl under the covers and sleep by my feet. She was very toasty warm. Of course so was Linda but she never slept at my feet!

Red wood forest, California

We took many fun trips thanks to Matt being stationed around the country. Linda always made a point of arranging sight seeing trips to fun places when we visited Matt and Wendy.










Linda loved competition, whether hers, the Cleveland Browns, or Matt participating in Iron Man competitions.  Here she is, despite the cold, waiting to cheer Matt on.





Fortunately, Matt got up around 7:30 am and Wendy around 8:00 am. They snapped me out of the past. We spent the morning together before going to my new place Matt had found for me. I was excited to see the place because the pictures and location seemed wonderful. But spending time with Matt & Wendy was more important to me first. I had waited a long time for us to be together in person.

So that afternoon, we went to my new place, and it was even better than I expected. Six minute drive to Matt & Wendy's, 15 minute walk to the beach and an ocean view from the living room window.












Everything in my new home was first rate, and, the owners are wonderful. Nice dishwasher and a wonderful gas range with a double oven. Did I tell you I like to cook?









The shower is large and has a wonderful Rain forest type shower head.


The washer and dryer are very nice. No laundromat for me.









The entire apartment is very bright and airy. Because I am on the second floor above the owners house, the views are very nice. There are large windows, even in the bedroom. There is a cute little balcony with room for a couple chairs and a small table. The basil plant is from the kids. It's a start, with more to come. They gave me four additional flower pots. I see a spice garden in my future.





As you can see from the pictures Matt did a great job finding a place for me.

So back to the question, "How am I doing?" I feel very fortunate to have spent 50 wonderful years with Linda. I feel very fortunate to have Matt, the best son-in law imaginable, Wendy and Becky, fun and loving daughters, and a wonderful place to live close to them here in California. I appreciate my supportive family, the best in-laws ever, and the many fantastic and supportive friends. The logical part of my brain is on track to figure out how life goes on from here. The emotional side still wants Linda back. I've read that the more it hurts, the greater the love you had for your spouse. Apparently that's true.